Awaiting Metamorphosis

I can’t help but feel these four walls closing in
Once my sanctuary
Now only my prison
I can’t help but feel this air growing thick
Chocking on the tension that has hold a death grip
I was born restless
Always looking for ways out
With age, I’ve grown impatient
Being fed only by doubts
If I could hit the road now
I think sanity would be saved
But since I’m far from release
I’m preparing to finally cave
My best regards
To you and yours
I’ll be back someday
Carrying a newly lit torch
You can forget me if you need
When I at last return
I won’t be the same man you see
I've tried to be strong
I've played far too long
Don't be offended if I no longer give a fuck when you think I am wrong
I've been looking for your encouragement
But it has been all too clear
Your selfishness is more important
I have to soldier on
I have to keep chin up
When the day is to come
Don't dare ever ask why I left
Let's see how loud I can be silent
If your eardrums aren't already busted
Let's see how bright I can vanish
Before you proclaim I'm acting out
Good riddance and goodnight
This is long overdue
Years from now I might wonder what has become of you
And smile

A Journey

Blind Heart says,
"Take hold of me, lead me to the things I see.
Adventures past have frozen me still
The arrows ahead just shoot to kill.
Take me, lead me home."
A damaged soul knows all too well
The gold paved roads that lead to hell
And redemption is only
To dream too far
Put your lips to mine
Touch my face and open my eyes
Under the stormy sky
Let it fall on me
Troubled waters in the sea
Black Crow sings his melody
Is it possible not
To be filled with doubts?
In the night
Let yourself dream
Dream of things that could have been
And things that may
If you don't stay
Darkness soon invades your mind
Awaken
Screaming
You will find
The truth is more terrifying
Take my hand and take my heart
Together we stand
Through the dark
Never letting go
Waiting for dawn
The sun is rising in the sky
Now it seems our time to fly
Over the trees
And their fiery leaves
Please don't run
Don't walk too slow
Promise me you'll never go
Let this blind heart see
Let it plant it's seed
A damaged soul can always mend
If it finds peace in the end
But the journey is never
Soft and Sweet

Little Boy

I know a young man
Who tries to be wiser than his years
I know a little boy
Who takes comfort in his fears
But he doesn't know how transparent he is
And he doesn't know what letting go is

So he runs
And hides
And laughs
And cries
But you can only run for so long in your life
Let it out, go
Be free
Let it down
Talk to me

Sitting in a bar
Three drinks and filling up
Close enough to danger
Just close enough to touch
But he doesn't see the potentials in his way
And he spends all day waiting till he can fade to gray

So he can run
And hide
And laugh
And cry
But you can only run for so long in your life
Let it out, go
Be free
Let it down
Talk to me

Oh the poison that you take
The needles on your skin
The love that you crave
And the pity you swim in
Won't wash it away
Won't drown it away

But he runs
And hides
And laughs
And cries
And screams
And begs
And hurts
And wonders why
Let it out, go
Be free
Tear it down
Find release

I know a young man
Who tries to be wiser than his years
I know a little boy
Who takes comfort in his fears

Needed

You don't get to disengage
Without me questioning
And I don't get to place the blame
Without you giving reason
The worst in me is now brought out by your
Contradicting behavior
It seems too often, for your ego
I become the enabler
If you can't stand to be alone
I deserve to know my purpose
How can you tell me all of these things you feel
Then move right on to another?
I'm not your doctor of psychology
And I'm sure as hell not your mother
You can change your appearance
You can change your game
But you can't change the darkness inside you
We both crave attention
But in different ways
We both want to feel needed
But your immaturity
Your childish ways
Make me want to withold and deny it
You don't see how you've done wrong
Must I be the one to prove it?
Don't dare argue
Don't dare disagree
I've gained too much to lose it
Take the bottle
Take his hand
Take all you feel you deserve
I'll take the kiss
All the empty words
I'll write it down and deliver
The spot light is fading
I can ignore you
If need be
I'll forget you

Lights

All of the lights
Green
Yellow
Blue
Red
Keep flashing in my head
With every word said
Yes
No
Maybe
Keep burning me instead
But I'm running for more
Even though I'm not sure
If I really want to know
But I heard your excuse
Flase truths
Refuse
That you wanna take it slow
Now I'm in the dust, 'cause
I wasn't enough
But I'm better without you
I've got my bags packes
Tagged
Stacked
Racked
In the corner of my room
Ready to leave
Flee
Free
From all the blue
And the doom
No you won't miss me
Whenever I leave
You'll be bent over with a smile
But when I come back around
Town
Sound
Found
I'll be laughing all the while

Here

The cool wind is calling
The moon is high above the trees
Distant voices are laughing
Will you meet me at the end of the lane?
We'll lose ourselves in the woods
We'll dance around in the fields
Our throats will burn from the bottle
But there's nothing as warm as we feel
I held the flowers you picked for me
I twirled with them in my hair
We laughed as we fell to the ground
And held each other close
Without a sound
I wish this night to never end
When the sun rises again
It will be a memory for the years
I grabbed your hand
We raced up the hill
We looked down over the quiet town, still
We fell silent again, it was something you said
"How can we feel so alive in a city so dead?"
I leaned in and kissed your sweet lips
We held each other in the cold of the night
I drifted to sleep in your arms
Everything felt so right
I woke up to the sun shining bright
Alone in my bed, it was just as I feared
You were never here
Never here

Your Move

You
Narcissistic and beautiful
You
Masculine and shy
You
With your smile and your stories
You
And your exaggerated life
I
Wish I didn't care about you
I
Can't even explain
I
Have tried so hard not to crave you
I
Weary of the strain

Why do I fall for it every time?
Like a moth to a flame
Am I curious of the burn?
Or am I attracted to the pain?

You
So generous with teasing
Look but don't touch, never tell

Me
And my bipolar wantings
I need you tonight, go to hell

You
With your always inviting advances
Walk a fine line, never stray

Me
With my wildly flirtatious beckonings
Come hither my love and stay

Why do I yearn for your attention?
Why do I still give a damn?
If we ever act on our impulses
Would you still see me as I am?

Wrapped around your finger
As you can see
We've been playing this game for too long
King me or let me be

Cemetery Dance

Written November 2011


I laid in the cemetery all night
I waited for you by candle light
But I never told you I was there
I'd hoped you would follow me anywhere

I hope you don't mind but I think I
Might stay here a little bit longer
The cold ground so warm and inviting
When I wake, maybe I'll be stronger

Take my body in your arms
It's yours tonight
So do no harm
I can't see who you are
But your eyes burn out the stars

Sit with us in our circle
Sit with us as we chant
We are forever silent
We are forever damned

I waited for you by a tombstone
I sought comfort from the pain
It was my favorite memorial
On it was carved our names

Hold me up into the night sky
Let me fall down like your rain
Let your body be my shelter
And the ground will be our cage

I am dancing with your skeletons
I am laughing with your devils
I am bleeding in this silence
I am dying in this game

Hot embers on the ground
Mourning whispers of the dead
Tonight I lay down for you darling
Tongiht I die in your bed

I laid in the gutter all night
Gasping air before I drowned
You were standing right above me
But you never looked down

Fork in the Road

Written May 1, 2011




Sitting alone at a table
At a local hang out spot
Full of college kids who seem to know a lot
Coffee in my one hand
In the other, pen moving non stop
Cigarette smoke swirling
Like the foggy thoughts
I think of all the words from men
I can't help but question them
Words of infatuation spoken
Words of more than friends
Themes of entrapment
Jerking away from their hands
Many waters tested
Few proven too hot
Some seemed far too cold
Never given a thought
I think it's pretty safe to say
I've been the subject of many thoughts
Some thoughts of love, desire
Some thoughts of roll and rock
But when I turn the other way
Those thoughts just turn to rage
I promise I mean no harm
Just looking for the right arms
Maybe I'm meant to wander
Maybe I'm meant to find God
Maybe I'm meant to be a teacher
Maybe I'm meant to be not
Where should I follow the stars?
Maybe to California
See I've got some people there
I'll write in the sand
I'll take in the sunny air
Perhaps I'll go to Canada
Disappear for a while
I'll bury my demons
I'll give life new reasons
Or maybe somewhere on the east coast
I'll walk across the rocky shores
Up the lighthouses by the sea
Onto the boats that moor
Maybe in my travels
I could find someone to make me soar
Someone to drop me to my knees
Someone to shake me to my core
Few things are for certain
As I finish up these lines
I still don't truly know
Which of these paths is mine
And when I hit the open road
What will become of me?
Will I be a warrior?
What sights will I see?
And can I make it on my own?
Will I meet other fighters?
Will I find the answers?
Or am I meant to be alone?

The Beast

October 10, 2011


I'm not the purest soul
But I know I'm not the worst
With this mind of mine
Some might say that I am cursed
I've tried like hell to cast the devil out of sight
But with the night comes the yearning and fright
I need two arms to become my cage
I need someone just as lost and insane
I've begged the angels to surround me with light
But I end up dancing with the ghosts of my life
How dare you
With that sinister smile?
What's a boy to do when his mind has gone wild?
Oh the things I'd do and never think twice
I don't want a pound of flesh
Only a slice
I may be damned
I may be blessed
I may be far too gone
I may be temptations test
Lay down your shield
And I'll lay down my sword
Lay down your bones
I'll rattle them some more
I'm gonna let go
I'm gonna let it wash over me
I'm gonna be the beast I've tried so hard not to be
I won't hurt you
I'll just cut out your heart
Show it to you like it's my own art
Be the animal I know you can be
Release your demons and possess me
I'll invite them to make me their home
Then I know for sure
I'll never be alone
Tonight, when the beast starts to cry
If the blood must come
Please don't let me die

See you on the other side..

Yes, it's me.
Tommy from Kind and Curious
People who are close to me know that while I am very passionate about veganism, animal rights, LGBTQ rights etc., I am also very passionate about writing. I wanted to create a space that I could share my writings with you. I love nothing more than pouring my heart out into something, and having someone connect with it and find comfort, peace, encouragement, anything with it! I will post some things I have recently written, things I have written years ago, songs, poems and so on. I won't share everything I write, as some is too personal. Some things may be very personal, but I may still post it. Who knows!? Shall we begin?...